DIvorce Mediation Should Reduce Conflict, Not Incubate It
Mediator Matthew House does not allow lawyers to be present for mediation sessions -- by design.
That means not in person, not by phone, and not via Zoom. No attorneys may be present at or participate in sessions.
Clients are free to have lawyers (although the vast majority do not), but no lawyers may observe or participate in a mediation session, and Matthew will not correspond with either client's lawyer.
Matthew has this policy for two reasons. First, it adds tremendous cost. Paying two lawyers and the mediator means that over $2,000 of the family's assets will be extinguished in a single mediation session, and 75% of that amount is unnecessary. Paying one professional, not three, enables clients to conserve their funds.
In addition, the orientation of the mediation process changes when only the clients and the mediator participate. Whereas lawyers must be zealous and strategic, focused on what is legally advantageous, a client advocating for his or her own interests can prioritize what is truly important to him or her.
Perhaps one party's assets are worth less than the other party's, but both parties have the assets that make the most sense for their needs and their capacity to manage them. Further, a client receiving child support or spousal support may decide to accept less than the amount that would be traditional or legally allowed, if the client believes that doing so will foster a cordial co-parenting relationship with the other party. Conversely, a client who can afford to pay more child support or spousal support than would be legally required may not want to be talked out of being generous.
Matthew has found, over 20 years of practice, that the no-lawyers model is superior to any other. When mediators normalize the active participation of legal counsel in mediation, it suggests to clients that they may be at a disadvantage without an attorney on board.
Are there times when having legal counsel is necessary in a family law matter? Of course. But not nearly as often as people assume it is.
Matthew thinks you should spend your money to send your kids to college, not a lawyer's kids.
Clients are free to have lawyers (although the vast majority do not), but no lawyers may observe or participate in a mediation session, and Matthew will not correspond with either client's lawyer.
Matthew has this policy for two reasons. First, it adds tremendous cost. Paying two lawyers and the mediator means that over $2,000 of the family's assets will be extinguished in a single mediation session, and 75% of that amount is unnecessary. Paying one professional, not three, enables clients to conserve their funds.
In addition, the orientation of the mediation process changes when only the clients and the mediator participate. Whereas lawyers must be zealous and strategic, focused on what is legally advantageous, a client advocating for his or her own interests can prioritize what is truly important to him or her.
Perhaps one party's assets are worth less than the other party's, but both parties have the assets that make the most sense for their needs and their capacity to manage them. Further, a client receiving child support or spousal support may decide to accept less than the amount that would be traditional or legally allowed, if the client believes that doing so will foster a cordial co-parenting relationship with the other party. Conversely, a client who can afford to pay more child support or spousal support than would be legally required may not want to be talked out of being generous.
Matthew has found, over 20 years of practice, that the no-lawyers model is superior to any other. When mediators normalize the active participation of legal counsel in mediation, it suggests to clients that they may be at a disadvantage without an attorney on board.
Are there times when having legal counsel is necessary in a family law matter? Of course. But not nearly as often as people assume it is.
Matthew thinks you should spend your money to send your kids to college, not a lawyer's kids.